Cardiogirl 19 percent body fat 100 percent fun


scooping, writing and protecting the masses


I am so glad our Canine Cleaning Crew is going to hang up the scooper soon. The reality is that I was tired of the smell and the gaggle of flies emanating from the neighbor's backyard. That is exactly when the idea for this business was hatched.

It's been hot and humid here in Motown and anything left to bake in the sun will eventually spoil and rot. It was a happy coincidence that my kids could earn money and learn about business in the process of abolishing that odor. But, like my 7-year-old frequently says, "I don't like this. This is stinky!"

Amen, sister.

So our last day of scooping is Saturday, which is also Pay Day. In addition, it is the day we help our economy by spending our profits at the mall. I did tell both my kids they should at least buy me a roll of mints for the help I provided. They both readily agreed to that, going so far as to commit to a full pack of gum, should I so desire.

I just did a word count which reminded me of my neighbor. A couple weekends ago we attended a block party and I learned that we live a mere 300 feet from a published author who has 12 books under his belt. Once learning this information, my husband set me loose on V@nce. I am dying to read one of his books. He was kind of cagey about the whole topic. I couldn't tell if that was humility or slight embarrassment.

I had to dig like I was going for the last grain of salt in a bag of pretzels to find out about his books. He writes fiction for teens and adults. He did reveal that he writes under a pen name and that maybe, just maybe, he might show me a dust cover from one of his books some day. Like I said, I couldn't tell if he's akin to J.K. Rowling just trying to live quietly in obscurity or if he actually writes Harlequin Romance novels for prepubescent girls.

I did feel a bit like a star-struck fan who gushes and then wants the author to read her own stuff. As I danced about that topic and cautiously mentioned I write an anonymous blog (you're not the only one on this block who has a pen name, buddy) I could tell he was thinking, 'I am not interested in reading your stuff, chick.' And like everyone else who thinks they are the next best thing since sliced bread, I thought in return, 'But I'm a good writer. And that's Ms. Cardiogirl to you.'

So I need to follow up on that lead and find out what V@nce's pen name is. I did get some valuable information regarding finding an agent, sending query letters, the publishing industry, etc. One last note about my neighbor the published author: that dude is a low talker. So many times I had to lean in and say, "Pardon me?" Eventually I got to the point of wanting to scream, "Speak UP, man!"

And since he lives with his male life partner, I'm quite certain he wasn't attempting to make me lean in closer for any romantic reason.

Last random note today. I'm listening to Amy Winehouse's album Back To Black and I just heard the UK Version of "You Know I'm No Good," which features a rap by Ghostface Killah.

Yesterday I said if I ever had a multiple personality I would like to have a cool name for one of the personalities. I'm thinking the main personality, the one who kind of protects the person from the harsh realities of the world, could be called "Ghostface Killah." (Would that be a copyright infringement?)

But I digress, isn't that a staple of multiple personalities? Anytime I have read about it, there's always a main, aggressive personality whose job is to protect the other personalities. And while we're on the topic, I wouldn't want the requisite "baby/child" personality who just blubbers and talks like a three-year-old lisping and pronouncing "Rs" as "Ws" like Elmer Fudd, that's just annoying.

My favorite line from Ghostface Killah's rap in the song is: "Yo, get to Bath and Bodyworks pumpin' the spice cream." I interpret this to mean Mr. Killah would appreciate it if his girlfriend would head out to Bath and Bodyworks at the mall and purchase some of that lovely smelling spice lotion.



Sending out a thank you: I'm sending an extra 1000 strides on the elliptical trainer to pippisto who added me as a favorite recently. Thanks pippisto!


2007-08-30 at 6:52 a.m.

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