Cardiogirl 19 percent body fat 100 percent fun


time marches on


Anal retentive is such an unattractive phrase, don't you think? I prefer highly attuned to the details. So, as someone who is highly attuned to the details of life, I am quite surprised that I let the calendar go this long before changing it.

We have three calendars in the house. One is a small hanging calendar of cats of the Greek Isles. It marries two of the things I enjoy: sunshine and felines. It has the requisite blue sky, white building and cats looking pensive shot, plus a variety of other cool shots. My favorite is a little ditty I call Peeking Cat Pondering a New Situation.

As you may recall, I had to choose between my cat and my child a couple of years ago due to our daughter's diagnosis of asthma which was aggravated by an allergy to cats. When I asked the ER doctor if I could just keep her bedroom door shut and free of cat hair he stopped short of rolling his eyes and said firmly, "You have to get rid of the cat." And that's how he said it, "the cat", like that cat wasn't a beloved member of this family. I know, I've already documented how this felt like "Sophie's Choice" to me, but in the end I did the right thing. I now see my daughter every other week. KIDDING. Of course I jest. If we don't have humor, we have a dark and dank world in which we live. I choose to live in a brightly hued world full of smirks and laughter, even during the sad times.

So that calendar hangs inside the armoire that houses the computer. It proudly announces payday and helps me figure out what day it is when I'm online. My husband flips that calendar each month.

The second calendar is a hanging calendar featuring quilts and also comes with an instruction booklet of how to make each quilt. Before I had children, and for a little while after I had children, I was a quilter. It's a hobby that I really enjoy, but I don't seem to have the opportunity to engage in it anymore. I am a lapsed quilter. But one day I will pick up the needle again, so help me God. In an effort to remember I once had a hobby, that calendar hangs in our bedroom. Our oldest daughter is into flipping that one over, so she's right on top of it and in our room it is currently July.

The last calendar in the house is the one in the living room. It's more a piece of art than a calendar. It is housed in an 11 by 14 inch frame and each month I replace the poster inside the frame with the new one. However, yesterday I realized it was still June 2007 in our living room. I couldn't believe I went through half the month without changing the calendar.

Part of me feels like my identity as an individual is being swallowed up by my role as a mother. Part of me feels I can merge the two worlds, individual and mother, and become a SuperHuman if you will. (What's that? You say you hear rustling? That's just my super cape blowing in the wind. I am Cardiogirl, you know.)

And part of me wants time to stand still so I do not have to deal with the rapidly failing health of my mother and brother.

I know time forges on, regardless of my calendar. I just wish the inevitable would arrive so I could leave this state of limbo.


Another thanks: I'm sending an extra 1000 strides on the elliptical trainer to glassbutrfly who added me as a favorite recently. Thanks glassbutrfly!


2007-07-16 at 6:57 a.m.

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