2007-06-25
more weight issues
|I was going gangbusters at the Y this month and was comfortably nestled near the top of the 30-39 year old chicks at my facility charts until I sprained my ankle last week. I can still lift weights as my ankle feels fine when flat on the ground, it's only when I try to pivot it left and right that it hurts. So my standings on weight lifted is number two, thank you very much. However, I am sliding in the cardio standings, as I am not supposed to use the elliptical or the treadmill for at least a week (this Wednesday) and then I'm supposed to proceed with caution.
While I was checking out my standings at FitLinxx today I felt like George Costanza from Seinfeld yelling, "I was in the pool! I was in the pool!" in explanation of the current situation. I'm pretty sure the other women checking their standings could care less, but I wanted to be able to tell the other random neurotic (like myself) that the month isn't over yet and I am still a force to be reckoned with.
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My body is in that strange phase where depending on what I wear I am able to camoflague my last unwanted 10-15 lbs. It really does depend on the cut of the pants (since I carry it, like a good Pear, in my hips and thighs). I refer to them as my childbearing hips -- a nice wide alley in which the baby slips right out. My husband, diplomatic man that he is, refers to them as the curves he's interested in. He says he likes some curves and is not a fan of angular lines.
I, on the other hand, am a tough critic and have completely bought into the fantasy of achieving what I see in the fashion magazines. It's funny, I don't believe that other women (or my own daughters, for that matter) should be held to that standard. But for me it's a different story. I really do believe that if I am diligent enough I can, and will, attain the figure I am striving for. I did it after my second daughter was born, I know I can do it again.
Yes, I have discussed this with my therapist Paula. Yes, it is a growth area for me. Yes, I am extremely fortunate to have a loving and supportive husband.
As I have previously mentioned, my husband has a small paunch he regularly works on losing. Roughly 20 lbs., but at six feet tall it is strictly in his stomach and is pretty easily camoflagued. I just had the thought, I wonder how I would feel, regarding my weight, if I were married to a man who had washboard abs and wore an athletic cut dress shirt. I think, if this is possible, I would be even more neurotic about my weight than I currently am.
When we first met, my husband was skinny. Trust me he was six feet tall and 155 lbs. That's skinny. I weighed about 135 at the time (I'm five foot eight and a half -- yes that half inch is important to me), but it still felt like he was a little too close to my weight for my comfort. He's not the muscle-head type. He refers to himself as a fat skinny man. His body just doesn't bulk up when he lifts weights and that's a-ok with me.
In the time between our engagement and our wedding (roughly eight months) he stress ate and gained about 40 lbs. Over the years he has gained and lost the weight. He also graciously gained weight with me during all three pregnancies. Thanks, honey.
I guess I'm saying I am happy with my husband's body shape and I couldn't handle competing with him at the gym. While I admire a well-chiseled form, I couldn't live with one. The (self-imposed) pressure would be too great for me.
See, somehow it always works out in the end.
2007-06-25 at 6:55 a.m.
