2007-05-14
why won't the fat just fall off?
|I continually find it interesting that I shy away from writing about my ongoing diet/struggle to lose weight. However, I really enjoy reading about other people's similar plights. So I am going to throw caution to the wind and jump into the fray. I think the hesitation comes from feeling like I am beating a dead horse. And as I say that, I am picking up my leather whip. . .
The pharmacist did say I could safely take herbal supplements that mainly contain caffeine. Which leads me to the discovery of "Slim Quick and Alli." They are supposed to be made especially for women and I was thinking about it. However, the "treatment effects" (the side effects) include "fecal urgency or incontinence, explosive diarrhea, anal leakage, increased number of bowel movements, abdominal cramping and oily discharge."
The anal leakage and oily discharge are what freaked me out the most.
So I guess I have to go mano y mano with those extra pounds. One of the B-list doctors I see when my regular doctor is not available has said to me, "you sure like doing things the hard way, don't you?" I don't really like doing things the hard way, per se, but it tends to be how I have to do it. Also, note to Dr. K: comments like that are what keep you on the B-list. He seems to take a little too much pleasure in my difficulties and that is a highly annoying trait in a physician.
For a short while I tried to channel my inner anorexic, however, she doesn't seem to check her messages very frequently. Instead, I have been exercising an hour a day alternating with lifting weights five to six days a week. I am also trying to eat a head of cauliflower or broccoli as a "meal replacement" in an effort to fill up to satisfaction without all of those pesky calories. I'm also adding a protein drink or a protein bar as a snack in between meals so I feel full longer.
I would say right now I have pretty good muscle tone under a slight layer of fat. I could probably pass as a plus-size model, as I wear a size 12. Isn't that depressing? A plus size model wears a size 12. In my opinion, a plus size model should wear a size 20 or larger. To me, size 20 constitutes a plus size. If I could drop 15 pounds I would have the body I am looking for. That would shave off the layer of fat and reveal the muscles underneath.
Funny, I don't feel like giving up. I just feel like I have to work that much harder and that I will, indeed, persevere.
Is this a bit fatalistic, like the cartoon of the mouse giving the swooping hawk the finger right before the mouse gets eaten?
2007-05-14 at 9:33 a.m.
