Cardiogirl 19 percent body fat 100 percent fun


things I can't live without


I consider myself a pretty smart cookie. I am pretty quick on the uptake. But some things confound me. Can someone please explain to me why this cartoon is supposed to be funny? I don't understand it. At all. Is it simply a sight gag? Because you never see a cat dressed in football garb. Is the cat supposed to be communing with the football? I don't get it. It's not funny. It evokes no emotion from me except frustration at its lack of humor.

Moving on, even though this cat calendar is a bust when it comes to being funny, it is still a product I find useful. I am a cat person, although my oldest daughter has asthma and we had to become a family sans cats. That was difficult but in the end I chose my own flesh and blood over my furry first child.

So, since I can't have the real thing purring in my ear at night, I have turned to the next best thing, calendars which feature cats. Again, this one is a bust on the humor scale, but I like to know what day it is and I find the back of the day's sheet is just the right size to make lists on.

The second consumer product I find supremely useful is the Mr. Clean Magic Eraser. Dirty fingerprints plaguing you doorjambs? Mr. Clean can take care of that. Crayon drawings all over the walls? Mr. C is on it. Dried on food inside the microwave? Child's play to the man in white. This eraser is magic, baby.

Item number three has to be a big old jar of Aquaphor. You may or may not know about my ongoing struggle with the spiteful wench I call eczema. Suffice to say, it isn't pretty. Aquaphor is the only tool I have to kick that bitch to the curb.

The last item is my Wet n' Wild lipstick. Again, you may have read about my ongoing battle with the cosmetic industry. I'm happy to report I bought out the metro Detroit area stores as well as a Meijer store in Traverse City. I'm set with that color til at least 2017. I'm a simple gal who has simple tastes. My makeup regime consists of combing my eyebrows, brushing my teeth and putting lipstick on.

As long as I have my aforementioned items, I'm good to go.


Another overdue thanks: I'm sending an extra 1000 strides on the elliptical trainer to kiosh who added me as a favorite a while ago. Thanks Kiosh!


2007-01-23 at 7:05 a.m.

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