Cardiogirl 19 percent body fat 100 percent fun


a bumper sticker for life


I was driving to the grocery store yesterday when I noticed one of those "I heart my (fill in the blank)" bumper stickers. It was blue with white writing and the heart was red. But I've never seen this one before. It said "I heart my wife."

I thought that was so cool.

There's something about the words "my wife" that I really enjoy. It evokes an image for me of comfort, protection, teamwork and ownership. I like hearing my husband say, "I was talking to my wife over coffee and. . ."

It's sort of like that "Seinfeld" episode where Courtney Cox guest starred as Jerry's faux wife. They were dating and the dry cleaner said something like, "If this is your wife, Jerry, she can get a discount on her cleaning bill." So to save some money, they told the dry cleaner that they were married.

Later, Jerry was telling Kramer about that and said it was fun to start a sentence with the phrase, "my wife." So Kramer tried it out and uttered these fabulous words, like only Kramer can, "My wife has an inner ear infection."

Hearing "my wife", even from another man, conjures up my own visions of what marriage means to me. I know everyone has a different type of relationship, but I tend to be an idealist. So when I hear someone talk about his wife, overall I get the impression of a fortress of solitude, where he and his wife sit and chat in safety away from the rest of the world. It's like each husband and wife is in a protected circle that includes just the two of them. And that is an image I really like.

I suppose that's what I feel about my own marriage. I really never thought I would marry. Me, of all people. It's not that I didn't want to get married; I just didn't think it was in the cards for me. I tried to be cool with that, but I wanted to have a special bond with someone for the rest of my life.

Sure you can have a bond with a sibling or parent, but you know what I mean. I wanted another person in my life to hold my hand and jump off the cliff with me. I wanted another person to go through this stuff with me, to carry the load when it got too heavy for me. I wanted to be that person for him; I wanted to shoulder his load, when it got too heavy for him.

Really I wanted a partner to help me navigate through this world.

I used to think those people who had really great marriages (or seemed to) were just lucky. But I realize luck can only take you so far. It was dumb luck that helped me meet my husband. I was running out to the dumpster at my apartment to throw out the trash. I hadn't taken a shower for two days and was trying not to be seen. But he found me anyway.

It has been hard work, compromise and effort that has created our solid marriage. But the effort is definitely worth it. He loves me even when I drink the last bit of coffee and forget to start a new pot (which happens daily. I'm a thoughtless last born, what can I say?)

I tell him, "These are the things you'll miss when I'm dead."

And in turn, he tells that story at work. "My wife has this endearing habit. She rephrases all of her bad habits as sweet little things I'll miss when she's dead." He says when he looks at it that way, those annoying habits aren't so annoying after all.


Another overdue thanks: I'm sending an extra 1000 strides on the elliptical trainer to lollygrass who was the third person here at Diaryland to add me as a favorite. Thanks Steph!


2007-01-13 at 8:07 a.m.

last post | next post