2007-01-10
my kid is a kleptomaniac
|Our three-year-old (who will turn four on February 22) has added kleptomania to her growing list of talents.
I ran up to Walgreen's yesterday to make a return and pick up a gallon of milk. Since all three children are home sick with various ailments I had them with me. I made my return, grabbed the milk and inspected the hands of the older two. The oldest had a pen she wanted to buy, I told her no and after much complaining and gnashing of teeth, she returned it to the display case.
The middle child (Klepto Kate) was jonesin' for a pack of Tic Tacs, original mint flavor. I told her no. As we approached the cashier I interrogated both of them and Klepto Kate told me she returned the Tic Tacs. I asked her exactly where she put them. She walked over to the display container that had the intoxicating mints and pointed to their peers. "Right here, Mommy."
So, I tell the cashier, "I'm just buying this gallon of milk, however, we might beep on the way out because I didn't see my kid actually return the Tic Tacs."
She informs me that the beeper will not go off on a pack of Tic Tacs (and strangely enough I find this a handy bit of information even though I would never steal mints). I buy the milk and we go home.
This is around noon. At 2:30 pm Klepto Kate wants her coat and I tell her she can go get it. She's sitting quietly on the Lazy Boy recliner when her older sister says, "Open your mouth. What's in there?" She pauses, then, "Mom, Klepto Kate has Tic Tacs!"
What?!
Grrr.
I have to explain that I am the type of gal who scarcely has a thought of breaking the law and then I actually run into a policeman with his fingers drumming the handle of his night stick. It's not hard for me to do the right thing because I feel I will always get caught, no matter how small the infraction. (Yeah, I know, I should talk to my therapist about this.) So to know my kid actually pocketed merchandise without paying for it flipped me out.
I had a vision of the manager reviewing the surveillance tape with the remote in his hand and the officer by his side. He points the remote to the screen and does a slow frame-by-frame until he stops the tape with my kid's hand halfway in her pocket, Tic Tac container gleaming in the harsh fluorescent lights.
"Right there, officer," he exclaims triumphantly. "That's when she stole the Tic Tacs!" The officer opens his note pad and starts writing down all of the terrible things he is going to do to me in the name of the law since I'm the guardian and she's a minor.
With that thought jangling in my head, I gathered up everyone's coats, pulled a dollar from Klepto Kate's piggy bank and drove back to Walgreen's. I was also thinking, I don't need to stand before Jesus (after I die) and hear, "You will spend 89 years in Purgatory, one year for every cent of that package of Tic Tacs your daughter stole in 2007."
We trot into the store and I tell the cashier that my child did, indeed, steal the Tic Tacs and she would now like to pay for them with her own dollar. The lady rings her up, gives her the receipt and the 11 cents back. Then I ask her if we can talk to the manager so my kid can apologize.
She calls him up and he looks like he's all of 23. I explain the situation and Klepto says "I'm sorry for taking the Tic Tacs." He gives her a stern look, nods his head and then says, "Okay. Don't do it again."
We thanked each other and then we went on our way.
I still cannot believe my little angel lied to my face. I honestly thought she wouldn't start lying to me until she was at least 5 years old.
*
I'd like to borrow a page from Bingoguy's handbook here at Diaryland and start a cyber shout out (with a link) to the folks who add me as a favorite. I'm going to have to work backwards here (and trust me there aren't that many people), but I will get to everyone. So today I send an extra 1000 strides on the elliptical trainer to Joiedv who added me as a favorite. Thanks Lisele!
2007-01-10 at 7:29 a.m.
