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crazy ass ideas


Sometimes Kim and I talk about stuff that's really common sense that we never do, but when we actually do it and it works we refer to it as a "crazy ass idea."

I'll give you an example. When you eat fewer calories and you exercise more you lose weight. Crazy ass idea. But when you lose weight, most people will ask "How did you do it?" I want to say something off the wall like, "I prayed to the Cellulite Fairy and left her a daily offering of buttered biscuits and heavy cream at night" but usually I just say "I watched what I ate and worked out at the gym."

So, as you may know December usually heralds frigid weather in the Midwest. After a bizarre spell of 60-degree weather in November, winter (or a reasonable facsimile thereof) has finally arrived in Michigan. This means it's about 29 degrees Fahrenheit at 5:40 when I leave in the morning to workout.

This brings up crazy ass idea #2. I have been wearing pants, a T-shirt and a Hanes zip up sweatshirt to the gym in the morning. When it's the end of summer and the middle of fall, this ensemble works fine. Even in 40 degree weather I can usually pull it off, seeing as I am just going from the car to the gym. But a sweatshirt in 29 degree weather just does not cut it.

You may be asking yourself, why is this a problem?

It is a problem because after a good workout I am sweating profusely like Whitney Houston during a live performance. I would prefer to keep the sweaty funk confined to my T-shirt and sweatshirt, rather than mess up my winter jacket. And before you ask, I only have one winter jacket.

So today I came up with a crazy ass idea. Use the sweatshirt, which hangs on a hook during my workout, as a barrier between my funky T-shirt and my winter jacket. I was actually warm, nay comfortable, this morning on my drive to the gym. What a crazy ass idea: wearing a winter coat in winter.

If you read about my stint as my own physician (see "who needs med school?") you will know that crazy ass idea #3 is taking Ibuprofen to relieve pain.

There are many crazy ass ideas out there, but I will leave you with one more.

My hands are extremely dry in the winter. As soon as I go outside (without gloves on because gloves are for sissies!) the lines in my skin around my knuckles turn white. After two or three days of this, my eczema kicks in and my hands become extremely itchy. Yes, moisturizer is the key here, my friend.

So I put a tube of Eucerin Hand Lotion in the car and every time I get in the driver's seat (at least three to four times daily what with carting the kids about town) I put lotion on my hands. And consequently, I don't feel like I want to scratch my skin off to reveal the bones underneath.

All together now, what a crazy ass idea!


2006-12-04 at 1:37 p.m.

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