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2006-11-12

Kelly Ripa's biceps

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I seem to have developed an unconscious fascination with Kelly Ripa's biceps.

This is the second time I have dreamt about her upper arms inside of two weeks. Before you start thinking weird things about me, both dreams were G-rated and no, I do not watch "Live with Regis..."

In the first dream, I was wearing a sleeveless shirt and I was admiring my own upper arms, which led to the thought that my arms were almost as well-defined as Kelly Ripa's.

The second dream, which occurred last night, had "Live" taping in a blocked-off street in my home town. It was summer and there were bleachers on the lawns of the houses. Regis and Kelly were on a makeshift stage in the middle of the street and there were orange and white barricades at the ends of the street.

I noted, while sitting in the bleachers, that her upper arms are really well developed and defined, but still remain feminine.

Now I feel I must give a disclaimer that I am not in any way, shape or form a fan of "Live with Regis and Kelly." I have seen the show, I am aware of its existence. I know who Regis Philbin and Kelly Ripa are. This, I suppose, I have gleaned from the show's marketing efforts and Us Weekly, which I do peruse while waiting in line at the grocery store.

I think my disdain for the show comes from the stench of Kathie Lee Gifford. I have never liked her; I find her irritating.

Side note: Quite a while ago I saw a special on Bravo where celebrities read excerpts of the autobiographies of other celebrities. Cheryl Hines did a reading of Kathie Lee Gifford's autobiography and it was hilarious! If you ever get a chance to see this, I highly recommend it.

Back to Kathie Lee, though.

I understand that the producers were trying to distance themselves from Ka-Gif when they hired Kelly Ripa, but for me the whiff of Gif remains. Don't get me wrong, I wasn't a fan when Kathie Lee was on the show, either.

The one time I didn't mind seeing her was on the "Seinfeld" episode where Kramer was peddling his coffee table book about coffee tables.

Anyway for some reason I feel like any knowledge of "Live With...," in any incarnation, is a black mark on my character. Not exactly sure why that is, but just remember: I am not a fan.

I just think Kelly Ripa's upper arms are well-defined.

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2006-11-12 at 11:05 a.m.

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