2007-05-31
stains beware
|I believe it is clear to anyone who knows me, or even remotely knows of me, that I have declared a crusade against laundry. Like Sisyphus, I find doing laundry a never-ending, frustrating experience that does not allow me to progress or feel any real sense of accomplishment. I do envy those people out there who are calmed by the repetitive nature of folding clothes and intoxicated by the smell of the dryer sheets. I wish that was me, but alas, I find myself a reluctant warrior in the battle against stains.
Enter the Tide StainBrush.
Of all the people out there, it was my father who introduced me to this miracle tool. If you knew him, you would be amazed. He is currently 80 years old, but back in the day he was an asshole who always seemed to repeatedly reach mythic proportions in his insincerity and lack of interest in other people's problems.
He never helped my mother with the children (six in all) and expected dinner on the table when he got home at midnight. He expected her to keep the children quiet during the daytime while he slept so he could work the afternoon shift. He never cleaned a dish, never washed a shirt, never swiped a sponge across the bathroom tub.
My mom had a nervous breakdown soon after I was born (and I was told about it repeatedly as a child by my mother and yes, it affected my psyche). After that, my dad got a vasectomy (this seems to be a global secret kept from my dad -- as in everyone knows about it but no one lets my dad know that they know). My mom said he helped a little bit more with me after that, but nothing earth shattering.
Proving that an old dog can indeed learn new tricks, my dad is now a different person. As you probably know, my mom has Alzheimer's and can't really do much anymore. So my dad has stepped up and taken over everything that she used to do. It really is a complete role-reversal and I have to marvel at the love and effort he puts forth.
He cleans the house, prepares all the meals, washes the laundry, etc. He was telling me a while ago that he was amazed that my mom scrubbed his shirts by hand all those years. He tried it a couple of times and rubbed his knuckles raw. I told him that's what happens after you scrub a load of clothes with stains. I continually have raw knuckles and it sucks.
My dad is very much a gadget man, so it's no surprise that he found the Tide StainBrush. This thing is a miracle gadget! I cannot rave enough about it. I really feel like I have found a stun gun when it comes to wrangling feisty stains. This tool smacks down like no one's business and should be a required item in every household. It should be a building code violation NOT to have a Tide StainBrush in every household laundry room across the nation.
My two older daughters have potty training down (thank you Lord). But they are both severely lacking when it comes to wiping methods. This means I am routinely looking at skid marks that would make the race track at the Indy 500 blush by comparison. These otherwise cute Hello Kitty briefs have become the bane of my existence. They are single-handedly responsible for multiple lacerations on my knuckles.
And then the Tide StainBrush came floating down on a fluffy cloud and changed all that. I no longer fear the brown streak. I no longer sigh heavily when I pick up sullied clothes that have been who-knows-where from their bedroom floor. I have the Tide StainBrush in my pocket, baby.
Bring it on.
2007-05-31 at 9:02 a.m.
